i’m stuck between anger and sadness in this emotion that i don’t have a word for.

i feel like people don’t get it.

it’s not about abortion. it’s not about birth control. it’s not so fucking cut and dry as pro-life and pro-choice.

this is a way to undermine individuals. it’s about denying someone access to healthcare in a nation that is supposed to be so fucking advanced that we don’t have to worry about silly things maternal death rates and religion undercutting science.

there are so many things and so many people this ban affects— taxpayers have to shell out more because there will now be more babies born to people who cannot take care of them. families will not be able to decided when and how they want to parent. women become nothing more than a way to birth more white men to make everyone’s decisions.

pro-life. what does that even mean? you don’t support the people who are already alive if they don’t act and think just like you. you leave no room for nuance and intersectionality and multiplicity. you fucking bomb clinics and assassinate abortion providers while shouting that you want to preserve every iota of life.

you want there to be less abortions? WELL, HOT DAMN! ME, TOO!

for me, being pro-choice embodies SO many different things. you will  never, ever hear me say that i want everyone who is pregnant to have an abortion. i want families, partners, women, people who don’t identify as such but still have baby making organs, etc. to have access to contraceptives and education about how to use them. I support preventative measures. I want people to be able to decide for themselves what they want to do with their lives, and I don’t think being a poor black woman living in the delta of Mississippi or being a non-English speaker in Arizona should be a final decision in your access to healthcare. i will support your decision to carry your child to term with everything i have and i’ll support your access to pre and post natal care.

but i think the thing that frustrates me the most is that this isn’t even about preserving life. this is just another way to uphold the societal structure that started to crumble slowly at first and more quickly in the recent decades. women are lesser, no matter what the race. we’re supposed to be afraid of people who don’t look like us. black men can’t support feminism because it threatens the little societal power that they have. non-english speakers, you don’t even belong here. and so on and so forth.

this all just sucks. it sucks so much. and i’m not even gonna lie, i’m angry at every single one of you who isn’t doing anything about it.